3 x oil on 15 x 45.5 cm board
Over the last 4 years I have had a lot of change in my life, internally and externally. There has been much to digest, integrate and let go of.
I found myself living alone for the first time in my life. The personality I had for family and married living was not what I needed to be able to do that. This meant letting go of cultural and personal conditioning; a painful, terrifying and alienating process of the loss of identity and its grounding. Also, it was in this period that my father died in the Netherlands.
These three paintings show the different stages of my changing awareness in regard to ‘who I think I am’, ‘losing my sense of identity’ and uncovering my ‘I am’.
I painted this Triptych for the Group Show ‘The After’ earlier this year, with 12 other artists-become-friends. It is not often that I paint with a preconceived theme.
‘who I think I am’
In this painting, my awareness or experience of who I am is quite restricted. My eyes are closed as if asleep. I dream of what life could be like and feel deep inside me, all the things I still want to live.
‘losing my sense of identity’
In the middle painting, the inner transition is happening. Identity structures which I had lived as a self, fall away. A process that is scary and alienating. It feels like self is dying, when in fact, it is the conditioned personality that comes undone.
The last painting depicts the growing and new experience I have of my self. After a while, I started to experience myself as presence; as an emerging quality ever in flux in its relationship to organic life.
‘who I think I am’ and ‘I am’ are available for purchase.
Please contact me if you would like to have one of them or both on your wall.
Margot: 0418 992 166 or firstname.lastname@example.org